Big Brother is not watching you...nor does he care.

Have you ever wondered if your life was like the Jim Carrey movie “The Truman Show”, your entire life has been recorded and watched by millions of people, for their own amusement they watch you. You are thinking about it now aren’t you? Yes I know you are. And if you’re not you will be thinking about it very soon. When you are tucked up in bed you will be thinking. “Wonder if they caught me watching that video that came up when I searched for the words “Hot, Asian and Giraffe”, What would be more worrying is did they wait until the watershed before they decided to show what you did to yourself while watching a video under the search terms “Hot, Asian and Giraffe”, Or did a bunch of kids ON A SCHOOL NIGHT NO LESS get a chance to witness you doing what you shouldn’t have. Your thinking now aren’t you? What about that time you ran around your house with a toy gun pretending you were in “Saving Private Ryan”. Oh I bet that would be embarrassing wouldn’t it. I would be embarrassed if it was me who was doing that (which I totally have never done....I am more of a “Platoon” kind of guy). But yes imagine it. Keep on imagining it. All those little moments have been watched by people. People you don’t know. Cameras, Microphones, BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU AND HE THINKS YOU ARE A BASTARD!



OMG LIKE I SOOOOO SAW WHAT YOU DID THEN !


In all seriousness however people do feel like this sometimes. As if their entire lives have been watched and monitored. That toaster you just bought from your local Argos. It has a microchip in it, and a camera. This relays messages back to the Breville head quarters. They monitor it all. Toast consumption. Toasting level, When, Where, How, WHY! People genuinely believe this. That somewhere out there in I don’t know Dorset or something there is a secret base which monitors us all on little tiny cameras and they sit there pen and paper ready writing down the location and activity of the how many millions that live here in the U.K (Do some research into how many people live in the UK will you guys?) But in all honestly, it’s a load of old fanny.


No picture here. I did not wish to type "old fanny" into Google


Ok fair enough London has more cameras than people. CCTV has always been to my knowledge a tool for aiding the capture of criminals and making our streets a bit safer. I really don’t think the government are that interested in what your father is doing right now. Or how many chips you are eating. But it is a few. Have a few more yeah scoff those chips!

Ever since George Orwell pissed off most people with common sense with his book “1984” people are fascinated by the idea of a “Big Brother” state. My personal favourite word is “Police State” or “Nanny State” (My Nan gets in a right state every new years but I digress). There is this somehow need for humans to feel like there is some bigger mystery going on. I guess that’s why we are the only animals to really take up religion. I can’t see all dogs going to heaven (loose film reference) but that’s because dogs would rather hump the pope than kiss his hand. I am getting off topic where was I? There is so much “evidence” created by these tinfoil wearing loonies to suggest we are living in some sort of era of non privacy, where our every move is monitored. Only 2 weeks ago I heard this amazing rumour that Microsoft’s new hot Christmas toy “kinect” had the ability to look into people’s homes. But what if you are not plugged into the internet? I’m sure someone will tell you that Microsoft (Or M$ as they are referred to in the gaming community) has some special amazing sensor ability to work the cameras wirelessly. I begin to think to myself maybe people like being watched. Like a downtrodden university student that has resorted to pornography for kicks (not from experience). The world now feeds off this need to be in some Orwellian nightmare.

So what can I say to finish off this most pointless message to everyone? Don’t let it bother you I guess. Do you masturbate in public? Do you hide children in letter boxes for thrills? Then don’t let it affect your life. Go about your day to day business. Go to work. Go to the bathroom. Don’t worry about the conspiracy nuts. Do not worry about the oppression you are suffering. It's all cool. Besides watching you all from bunker 27 I think it’s high time you all went out for some fresh air. Next to the big cameras, They won’t hurt you.



Stormtroopers - The Sexy side of oppression